you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
