I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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