We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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