Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
