Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
