it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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