i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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