Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
