I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize