No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize