i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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