I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
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