is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
