Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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