Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
