first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize