smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
