In the future we'll all be gay
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
