you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
