Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
