She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
