When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
