Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
