She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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