Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
