Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
