C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
50% drunk capacity currently
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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