We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
