Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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