you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
