I molested 6 butterflies tonight
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
