For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My ass is underappreciated
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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