nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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