Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
