So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
