so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize