im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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