office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
