when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
