Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
