shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize