is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
