I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
