I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
