you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
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