Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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