Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I just found puke in my bra..
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
