check it out our google latitudes are spooning
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
