ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
