I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
