why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
