So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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