just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
