Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
