i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
