You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
