So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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