I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
