Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
