between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
