I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
