Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
