i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
