I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i will never coherently bang her
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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